Technology & Internet7 Bullshit Social Media Ideas That Get YOU Ultra Traffic and Make YOU Super Rich

Here it is, the list post to rule all list posts. The one that shows you all the secret tricks of social media pros how to exponentially increase traffic on your website and dramatically increase your bankroll. Really? No, not really, but I read those everyday and always wanted to do a post about this…

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 Truth is: there are no X ways to make you super rich or Y ways to get you popular. There are millions small steps you need to do. And while some of the advice in this kind of posts might be very valuable, what you really need is to find the way that works for you. That is not meant to sound philosophical, just take it from a guy, who has tried many different things that worked for others, but not for me.

Here is some of the worst advice I ever got, in no particular order:

Disclaimer: I am hung over, if the following sounds drastic to you – I don’t care right now. Maybe tomorrow…

1. Write as many list posts as you can, no matter what subject

Quote from this article on mashable: “Lists, how-to’s, and puns are all eye-catching headlines that stand out in a Twitter feed.”

Are they serious? This must be the worst advice I have heard in ages. My twitter feed is full of list posts, how-tos and puns. There is nothing else in there. How can they stand out?!

It is about “standing out like everyone else”!

Ok, this is a list post too, so I will shut up.

2. Repost everything on Twitter and Facebook at least five times

People might have missed it. Yeah right. Why not repeat the same post 20 times a day? Or even better: mention a different follower on Twitter in every post at random. Repeat until you are sure everyone has read your tweet AND clicked the link.

3. Contact people at random (especially on LinkedIn)

Everyone is a potential business contact. So run around and contact everyone.

Ok, check back into reality and imagine this behavior in real life: Have you ever walked across a crowded street and handed everyone in you sight your business card? No? Why not?

4. Get a corporate blog on your website and post as often as you can

It’s all about quantity. The more posts on your blog, the more pages are there that visitors will click on. Quality is for nerds.

5. Send automated emails to everyone in your network (“spam” is such a bad word)

Heck, what?

Sending out spam will get you traffic by all the people that are visiting your site to find out how the hell they can unsubscribe from your newsletter. An option they of course have, but that you have hidden well in the depth of your ever growing sitemap.

6. Do some webinars on something you know nothing about

Only five to ten people will attend each webinar, afterwards, they will know that you are an idiot. All the other people will just see that you are offering webinars on a certain topic and recognize you as an expert.

7. Start a side business as a social media consultant

Now that you know all this, you can be a social media consultant and help others too. That will make you super rich, and others will worship you for all the good advice you give them.

Final words:

This is meant to entertain. I have been given most of the above advice myself by different consultants during my career as an entrepreneur (in different wording of course).

There are of course many consultants that do a good job and are real experts.

Author

JonathanJonathan GebauerexploreB2B GmbHGeschäftsführer, Gründer

Discussion

Justine EdwardJustine EdwardWhat Did Work For You?

Love this article. I feel like I've travelled down a similar road. I'm still finding my feet so what I'd like to know now is what did work for you Jonathan?

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